Cherry Bomb
by ThelittleFox2015
Summary: As teenage Megamind begins his career of mayhem, he realizes that he has a slight problem: Masters of Villainy and Evil Overlords are NOT virgins. But finding someone worthy and willing to aid him with his predicament and boost his criminal street cred might not be as difficult as he anticipated.
1. Chapter 1

Cherry Bomb

Author's note: I got the inspiration for this story after watching several Joan Jett music videos. It won't be a long story, just a few short chapters. I hope that you all enjoy and please review!

* * *

In an abandoned duplex on the seedy edge of Metro City, a lanky teenage boy sat cross legged, tapping his pencil against the legal pad at his feet. Long pieces of red string with dangling index cards outnumbered the cobwebs enveloping the room. The amount of multicolored post-it-notes lining the walls roughly concealed the char and water marks, and with the various tools and scrap metal strewn about the floor he would actually have to _search_ for the stains of questionable fluids on what was left of the threadbare carpet. Yes, Megamind's moving into the dump had improved it somewhat, but he failed to notice as he sat on floor deep in thought and growing in frustration.

His brows furrowed and his teeth worried his bottom lip as he tried so hard to find a solution to his very, very embarrassing problem. _What the hell am I supposed to do?_

He looked down at the doodles and fragmented sentences written on the page. Long, thin fingers clenched into fists, and he snarled as he ripped the page off of the note pad, balling it up, and throwing it into the small pile of crumpled yellow paper at the other end of the hovel. Letting out a breathy sigh he brought his large blue head down into his hands and began massaging his temples. Nothing was going the way he planned and he was beginning to fear that nothing ever would.

Big Al had told him that the rules for criminals in the real world were the same as in the prison: pick a territory, kick the ass of the guy who owned it, and then defend it. Megamind imagined it being like the prison cafeteria or the yard: pick a table/bench, kick the ass of the big guy that always sat there, then defend the table/bench. Easy. And he already had as much experience defending himself and property as some of the older inmates since most new guys thought he would be an easy target, but the gangly seventeen year old knew how to serve a punch as well as he could take one. The fights, along with the near constant breakouts, provided enough fodder for Metro City's underground to take notice and produce rumors about the young blue alien, though the name 'Megamind' had yet to catch and keep hold.

Making a name for himself as the Baddest Bad Boy of Metro City should have been a cake walk, but it was turning out to be more than a little complicated.

The plan that had been executed the previous night had a hitch, but it had nothing to do with the equipment nor timing. No, the hiccup came when he started his witty back and forth banter with the bumbling Strickland Brothers. The brothers, who were as stupid as they were violent, owned a portion of the east side of the city which sported some of the larger chop shops and metal scrap yards, and therefore became vital turf for Megamind to procure for his complex future schemes and inventions.

The only reason why the two idiot brothers had even secured that particular area was due to their intimidating brute force, but if Megamind played his cards right, he was sure that he could manipulate the brothers to keep their front while he pulled the strings from behind, and successfully have two big names under his thumb, so to speak.

He and Minion had placed several homemade light bombs around the brothers' home base having already dehydrated their dozen or so lackeys. The bombs went off, and soon the brothers stumbled out blinded, firing their guns aimlessly. It didn't take much for the two teens to throw the disoriented thugs off balance and restrain them.

Once Minion gave the thumbs up from his mechanical suit that looked slightly like a Transformer -Megamind was still fiddling with the blueprint for the right size and shape suit for his aquatic comrade- the show was on.

"Gentlemen," he began, "you do not know who I am, but allow me to ee-loom-inate. I am MEGAMIND, the-"

"Who?" one of the brothers asked.

"I wasn't finished," he grumbled. Perking himself right back up he started again, "Megamind, your future Evil Ruler and Overlord of Metrocity!" Ever since the day he left his old shool house he called Metro City, Metrocity since it was an _atrocity_ that the Mindless Drones licked the white Keds of Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes and not his.

When the two bound men finally regained their vision and could actually see their captor, with his wild eyes and arms raised in the air, they started laughing hysterically.

"You? Ha,ha,ha, you? Ruler of ha,ha,ha, Metro City? Kid, you gotta be crazy!" Their laughing died down and their ire rose up. "Look at you! I bet your skinny ass hasn't even gotten laid! And you're coming up in here and blew our shit up and you telling us you gonna rule over somethin'? Fool, you haven't even tapped an ass yet and you got the nerve to tell us that you gonna own ours?"

Needless to say the manipulation and string-pulling didn't happen that night.

The mission had not been a total failure, though. He gained a valuable insight: Masters of Villainy and Evil Overlords were NOT virgins. No self-respecting, hardened criminal or syndicate was going to take him seriously if he didn't pop the mythical cherry that his uncles had explained to him or joked about in prison. If he could effectively lose _**IT**_ _-_ he blushed fuchsia just thinking about what _ **IT**_ implied- and too someone worth bragging about, then maybe the road to villainy would ride a little smoother.

 _Maybe it would be better for my reputation if I could get someone to brag about doing it with me?_

He stopped massaging his temples and felt the form of his giant, blue head. His hands dropped to his lap and he inspected the azure skin of his palms and wrists. Green eyes stung closed and a slim chest shuddered.

"Sir?" his little fishy friend ventured to ask, "A bank vault full of diamonds for your thoughts?"

"What girl would _ever_ want to touch something like me, let alone brag about it?" His pathetic admission brought his caregiver over to his side in a matter of seconds.

"You're the smartest, most devilishly good looking, baddest, boldest and bluest alien that this planet has ever seen and will ever see!" On his robotic hands and knees, trying to look into the eyes of the boy he loved more than his own life, Minion emphatically declared, "You are Megamind, the Incredibly Handsome Evil Genius and soon to be Master of All Villainy! And if the girls of this planet can't see that then they aren't worth your time." His serrated jaw clamped shut as he nodded with a small 'humph' for good measure.

"Minion," he said tenderly glancing up at his friend, "you fantastic fish. You always know just what to say."

He studied the room until his gaze settled upon the idea cloud. The young man stood and walked up to an index card reading: #6 Reinforce Bad Reputation. What began as a smirk grew into a smug grin. An idea was percolating in his brilliant mind.

"Minion, my main man," his eyes slid sideways with a wily glint, "let's forget about our scheme for Operation: Atomic Cherry, just for tonight. I have another plan."

The henchfish smacked one closed fist into his open palm, smiling brutishly. "What'll it be, Boss?"

The Blackout, voted Metro City's most hardcore bar by felons and do-gooders alike, was a place where legends were made and destroyed. Whether it was from the grizzly tattooed men guarding the front door or the urban legend that there was an entrance in one of the bathroom stalls to a subterranean city of sin, the bar was notoriously unpredictable and dangerous, and just the place to be for a rising criminal master mind to see and be seen.

Megamind looked down self-consciously at the black Converse under his slim dark wash jeans, his faded Iron Maiden shirt fitting snugly across his slender torso. He would have preferred steal toed boots for protection, but the kicks he lifted would have to do. Popping the collar of his stolen leather jacket, he started for the entrance, Minion following closely behind.

"Um, Sir, are you sure this is a good idea?" Minion questioned. The beasts like sentries at the front door looked like they ate orphans for breakfast and nuns for lunch.

Megamind spun on his heel and pulled Minion's bowl close to his face. "No, Minion!" he hissed. "This is a real _bad_ idea, so play it cool! I'm getting us in there." He pulled out a blue cube from a secret compartment notched into his belt to show the worried ichthyoid, and quickly stowed it away before he strolled up to the bouncers.

Minion was grateful that his young ward had enough forethought to bring the dehydrated arsenal bag in case things went south, but he had no idea how they would actually get inside unscathed. _If I have to I'll grab him and run for it._ He wouldn't be a good minion if he didn't have a back up plan in order, but he realized that all his fretting was for nothing as the brutes stepped aside and allowed the two aliens to enter without a second glance.

"Uh, what just happened?" Minion's eyes darted from the door to the blue teen strutting ahead of him down the dimly lit hallway.

"Oh, that," he chuckled. "Remember the guy that tried to jump me by the free weights in the yard and I knocked him out with a dumb bell?" Minion nodded. "Turns out the guy had put their little brother in a coma before he was taken into custody. They found out what had happened from a friend on the inside and they knew it was me because I'm the only skinny, blue alien on Earth."

When the duo sat near the jukebox every eye swung their way. The expressions varied from incredulous disbelief and wry amusement to absolute vehement hostility. Minion shifted in his seat, ready to brawl if anyone dare approach them, but Megamind leaned backing into his chair and motioned for the waitress to come over. The only thing betraying his nervousness was the minor jitter of his left leg.

He and Minion were on precarious ground and he knew it...and they knew it...and they knew that _he knew_ that they knew it. He had one shot to get this right and prove what a masculine badass he was if only-

"Kid, are you gonna order or what?" the half dressed waitress impatiently inquired. The Blackout was an outlandish mix of eccentric artists, felons and shady businessmen. By the unimpressed look on her face she had evidently seen stranger things than a talking mechanical-transformer-fish-thing and a bulbous, blue-headed alien teen.

Megamind's my mouth went dry and mind went blank as he attempted to think of a cool drink order. _What do dastardly villains drink?!_ He tried to recall what his favorite Bond and comic book evil-doers would want as he scanned the tables around him for some sort of inspiration. And then it came to him, the most hardcore liquor of them all.

"Absinthe."

"Wha-what?!" she stammered not at all expecting that request. The entire bar went quiet, all attention focused on the mix-matched pair ordering.

"He means a glass a'milk," one guy shouted, "and some cookies!" Riotous laughter erupted. Megamind's dark brows lowered over two brilliant jade orbs.

"Noooo," he said slowly, "I mean absinthe." He waved his hand over to his partner. "And for my friend, a Shirley Temple."

The waitress squinted at the pair dubiously, but shook her head as she turned to make her way back to the bar.

Minion leaned in for a whisper conference, careful to not put too much weight into the small table. "Sir, you know that you shouldn't be drinking alcohol! And you said that we have to stay sharp. Remember Boozy Billy in C-Block?" The fish's tirade was cut short by Megamind's knowing smirk.

"Just one drink, one time. They'll never forget it and I'll never have to prove it again."

"Oh." Minion considered the plan. "I guess that makes sense. But why the Shirley Temple?"

"Because what could be more sinister than a calloused henchmen that drinks straight sugar?" he reasoned, then added, "And I want a sip."

The waitress came back with a cherry red drink for Minion and a portable watering fountain. She sat a tall glass, with a shot of green liquid topped by a slotted spoon and a sugar cube, beneath the spout and turned the knob. Cold water slowly poured onto the sugar, dissolving it into the green tonic below. Whirling gas rose from the mixture when Megamind raised the drink to his lips. In the dim lighting it made an eerie picture. _It's all about presentation_ , he thought and took a drink just as a blaring electric guitar riff started playing from the stage at the other end of the bar.

His eyes bulged and watered as he spit the remaining liquid back into his glass. _Great Archimedes! Who would poison themselves with this-this foul urine water?_ He was grateful that everyone's attention was to the band on stage. _I'll just hold the glass and pretend to drink it._

It was then that actually started to pay attention to the music in the background. _Hmm, they're pretty good. Sort of punk meets metal._ Herepositioned his seat to face the platform and what he saw made his jaw drop. There on stage, clad in skin tight black leather with disheveled onyx hair, kohl rimmed eyes and ruby lips, stood the Queen of All Badassery.

 _Oh, dark angel of my heart._

"Um, Sir, you're spilling your drink."

He heard the spatter of the puddling libation and straightened his horizontal glass. "Whoops!"

The young woman wailed into the microphone, licking the air and grabbing her crotch. Men in the crowd shouted and whooped when she threw her body off stage into their reaching hands.

Megamind's dreamy smile faded when she landed back on the platform, gave the bird and walked off stage. He left a few waded dollar bills on the table and stood up to leave. Minion jumped up to follow him.

"Come on, Minion. Let's go back to Evil Hovel."

He spied the red sign reading: Exit. _Oops, almost went the wrong way._ He steered towards another door that opened to out into an alley.

With each step down the backstreet the teenager's thoughts became more bleak. Thoughts like _she would probably run away screaming_ and _too blue_ or _not a normal human boy_ congested his mind to the point that he didn't hear the clicking of heeled shoes on the cement until they were right behind him.

Minion's startled gasp caused a bit of worry to bubble up and reached for the cube in his belt. A firm, manicured hand grabbed his shoulder, but he hardly noticed as he balled his fist and swung, ready to deliver the first blow.

He barely stopped the punch from colliding into the nonplussed face of the band's lead singer. She smirked and held out a cigarette. "Got a light?"

"Um, uh, huh?" His brain took its sweet time catching up to the astonishing fact that a girl- not just any girl, but the most rockin' girl of all time- was talking to him. _Him!_

Minion raised the small blow torch fitted into his suit for her. The girl took a drag of her cigarette while she looked with amusement at the stammering young man in front of her.

Getting close to his ear she murmured, "You're drooling there, Starboy." And she laughed out right when his ears burned fuchsia and his mouth snapped shut, his jacket sleeve running along his chin.

The girl took another long drag before she flicked the cigarette to the ground. Blowing out smoke she pointedly studied his large head. A little pink tongue poked out to lick her red lips when her eyes wandered down to his mouth. "I saw you watching me on stage."

"Uh, yeah," he replied determined not to look or sound like an idiot this time. "You were great." _The lip ring looks pretty cute up close._

"Think so, huh? So, you and your fish hang out here often?"

"Actually, this is our first time to a bar," Minion cheerfully announced before he had a chance to respond.

"Minion!" Megamind snapped. A real girl was speaking to him, which was completely unbelievable, and Minion was ruining it!

Minion's large hands covered his bowl sheepishly. "I'm just going to go check out the graffiti over there," he pointed and took off for the end of the alleyway.

Megamind looked back at the girl with the sly grin wistfully. "Guess I should get going too," he sighed. "Don't want to keep you from your adoring fans. Good show, by the way." _Better make a run for it before my luck runs out and the drugs she's obv-ee-ously abusing wear off._

She stepped closer to him before he had a chance to walk away, causing him to flinch back.

"Hey, I'm going to be frank-"

"I'm Megamind."

"What? No! Okay, nice to meet you, but I mean I'm going to be straight with you. I've never seen a guy like you before and I want to try you out." She grabbed onto the lapels of his jacket pushing her body hard against him and crushed her lips onto his before the stunned alien had time to react.

 _Oh, E-vil Gods in Heaven! She's kissing me! What do I do? What do I do?!_ He internally panicked, so much so that what she had implied went right passed him. _She tastes like the smell of an ashtray,_ he thought as he pursed his lips back to hers. Her tongue darted out to lick his cheek and a strong, dainty hand crept down to the inner seem of his jeans and gripped tightly onto his growing bulge.

"Whoa!" he shouted grasping her hand to pull it off. From his neck to top of his head, he practically glowed violet.

"What's wrong? You don't wanna?" she asked skeptically. Her body still pressed against his, but she stopped her fondling.

"Want to..." he trailed off as his eyes darted frantically searching for Minion.

"Wanna fuck."

Megamind took in a sharp breath as he stared at the stranger in front of him. Was she really asking him if he want to do _**IT**_ with her? Why him? Who would ever want to do _that_ with him? And what about what they were doing now? No one had every touched him passed a pat on the head or shoulder. This had to be some kind of twisted joke. He pushed her gently away from him.

"Real funny. Ha, ha!" he raised his hands dramatically. "Let's all laugh at the really blue guy. Let's all joke around with the skinny freak, is that it?"

The young woman just stood there silently watching him. It made him anxious, her not responding to his outburst. With surprising gentleness she placed her hand on his cheek and it terrified him.

"It's your first time, isn't it." It wasn't a question. "I don't know what it's like to be you, but I do know what it's like not to be accepted for who you are."

"You, you do?" he unconsciously shifted his body closer to hers.

"Yeah. Look if you don't want to that's cool, but I promise you if you go back to my dressing room with me, you're gonna get laid." She shrugged and stepped back. "Your choice."

His Adam's Apple bobbed as he considered her offer. She was perfect for his evil image and even better, she seemed sincere when she said that she wanted to have sex with him. Big blue head and all.

Watching him hesitate she went in for the kill, "And I'll let you fling my panties off the stage."

 _Well, I've made my decision!_

"Minion," he called out as they practically skipped to the dressing room, "I'll meet you back inside!"


	2. Chapter 2

Ch.2

The world seemed to move in slow motion as Megamind ran behind his rock' n 'roll she-devil. A million and one thoughts flew through his mind at warp speed with the predominate battle being between all the colorful ways this situation could blow up in his face and HOW THE FUCK IS THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENING?! And, as long as he was riding that crazy train of thought, what the hell was he supposed to do?

Anxiety caused a damp sheen to cover his large forehead and his palms became more than a little sweaty by the time they entered the back stage rooms. _Oh, gross! I knew I should have stolen those gloves. I don't care what Minion says I-_

His internal rant came to a dead halt when the dark vixen pushed his body against the closing dressing room door. Every part of him froze and the more she pressed her body against his- splaying her hands across his narrow chest, nibbling on the sharp line of his smooth jaw- the more petrified the teen became.

She snickered a bit when she stopped her ministrations long enough to study his face. Poor Megamind had turned from blue to purple, his body plastered to the door. He looked like he wanted to bolt, screaming bloody murder on his way out. But that little pink tongue of his poked out and licked his bottom lip when she kissed his neck and she could see the part of him that really, really wanted to see this through... and god, it turned her on!

Four quick steps back. A sly smile. Dainty fingers undid the tight bodice constricting the soft skin of two fleshy mounds. She dropped it to the floor. Megamind nearly fainted.

"Hey, Space Candy. Like what you see?" She giggled at his barely nod and deepening blush before she gave him his way out. "Or you wanna run home?"

Some part of his brain-or other body parts- must have been functional, because he somehow manged to shake his head, negative.

The girl leaned against the vanity table, tossing her dark hair behind her. Tilting her head she quietly commanded, "Get over here."

He was happy to follow orders, but his stupid head felt all wobbly and his knees threatened to buckle at any moment. Four steps was turning out to be quite a distance.

And then there was no distance. There was only naked pale skin and blue hands. What was he supposed to do with his hands?

She grabbed his wrists and placed a palm on each breast, and gave a hard squeeze.

 _Oh...well, then. Okay. That's-yes-that's where the hands go. Yup. Hands, hands go there._

Megamind licked his lips once again and cleared his throat, but only to force down the slightly hysterical chuckle that wanted to bubble up and out at this most inappropriate moment. _This really might not end well._

Megamind understood the basics of sex. He grew up in a prison for crying out loud! Randy men with too much time on their hands and long, lonely nights made for some interesting conversation. While many of the inmates at least tried to shelter their alien resident, others could care less what he over heard and some even attempted steer him in the wrong direction.

 _If you want it, take it._

He remembered the way his stomach wormed when inmate B. Wilson pulled him aside and told him that he was old enough to know the facts of life. _Don't pay and don't ask. A man should never go to bed lonely or horny, even a guy that looks as bad as you do._

Fortunately, one of his 'uncles' overheard the tail end of the conversation and slipped a note to a guard to give to the warden explaining that the boy needed The Talk. Later that very evening Warden Jones sat the teenager down to explain how things ought to go: be gentle, be patient, 'no' means 'no,' don't be selfish, always treat her like a lady, always act like a gentleman. It was awkward and possibly held the record for most stammering, throat clearing and averted gazes per minute, but Megamind trusted the warden more than the new inmate that his uncles had warned him about.

Besides, all of his favorite movie and book villains never acted that way. Sure, they did kidnapped the damsel and they did coerce the lady into suggestible positions, but it was about the push and the pull. It was a delicate dance of unconventional wooing. And while it was a known fact that the bad guy never got the girl in the end, it was the challenge of turning her eyes and heart from her savior to her captor that intrigued him. Now that was a game he thought would be fun to play, not brute force and overpowering.

(Interestingly, a week or two afterward, inmate B. Wilson was kept in the protected zone of the prison having suffered from several life threatening "accidents.")

But how was he supposed to be a gentle when the girl was practically clawing his shirt and jacket off of him? She was down to black satin panties in a matter of minutes, so what patience was needed? How was he supposed to treat her like a lady when she was shoving him into the chair, straddling his lap, hurrying to undo his belt buckle? And what did she think about him? Because he surely hadn't had a chance to show her that he could even be a gentleman.

"Um," his belt was undone and the girl was attempting to shimmy the jeans down his narrow hips.

"What?" she looked at him a little breathless and a tad confused. The the realization struck her. "Oh, it's cool that you don't have a rubber. I have one some where 'round here." She began pawing frantically through the clothing strewn about the room.

"Um."

"Ta-da!" she raised the wrapped square above her head, waving it back and forth like she had single-handedly captured the enemy's flag. "Now, let's get this bad boy on ya."

"Wait!" Megamind shot to his feet, one hand raised to stop her from coming closer and the other keeping his pants from falling to the floor. He licked his lips nervously trying to put into words what he needed to say.

Looking at this beautiful sex-goddess, her hip cocked out and a scrap away from full nudity, Megamind almost slapped himself. This was every man's dream! And he was ruining it! _No Minion to blame for this one._

"Space Candy, just relax. You'll freaking _love_ it. I promise."

He could only shake his head and grit his teeth while he straightened his pants and pulled his shirt back over his head.

The girl's face twisted into something fierce and bitter. "What? You think you're too good for me? 'Cause you're not! I do who I want, when I want. You know how many guys are lined up for this," she groped herself, "and you just want to play me? I told you what was gonna happen if you came back with me!"

Seeing dark streaks trail down her cheeks as she tried to cover herself with her arms, Megamind rushed to the young woman's side. He had never made a girl cry before. He didn't like it.

"No, no, no! You're-you're perfect." He tentatively put his hands on her shoulders. "It's me. I just can't do this. I don't know what to do- and it's moving too fast- and I want to do it right- and how can I be a gentleman when I don't even know your name?"

It all came out in one long breath. She looked at him like she wanted to cry harder, and so he decided to search for his jacket.

Thin, toned arms slipped through leather sleeves. Already he felt a little more secure, a little more protected. The night had been a bust in almost every way.

He walked to the door without looking back and turned the handle to leave.

"Crystal."

Two dark brows furrowed. "What?"

"My name- my real name, is Crystal," she sniffed. "My mom said it's 'cause she could see that I would wear my heart on my sleeve. So, now you know why I have to cover it up. It's all about presentation. People can break a girl named Crystal. But no one can break Juliette Heartless...so that's who I am now."

Megamind nodded. He was learning all about presentation.

"That's what you're doing here too? Aren't you?" she continued, wiping her eyes and lighting a cigarette. "I heard people talk about a blue kid trying to make a name for himself. Trying to be real bad."

Megamind shuffled his feet, shrugging nonchalantly. "I _am_ bad. I always have been. It's what I'm good at. I'm going to be the baddest villain Metrocity has ever seen; it's my destiny."

Crystal smiled at that. "Well," she said while letting out a billow of smoke and smothering her cigarette butt on the dressing table, "let me tell you a little something about show biz. People don't care too much about the middle, hell, they forget about it as soon as it's over! But a big entrance and a grand finale- even if it's just one time- now that's something they'll always remember you by." She was leaning forward eagerly like she was telling him the greatest secret ever known.

And it must have been so, because even though she was still topless, Megamind could only focus on the gem of knowledge she had just bestowed.

"A big entrance!" he shouted. "That's it! All I have to do is get the right weapon, the right ambiance and let the drones of Metrocity watch my epic battle!"

"Yeah," she skipped up to him. "And don't forget the right costume and makeup. Play up the special effects. People flip for laser light shows. I'm saving up to buy some for my band."

His entire face lit up with glee. Oh, he loved a good idea. Maybe, maybe tonight wasn't a total flop.

"So, I still have one last song to perform." Crystal started getting dressed, but the blue boy in the room was still lost thought for his big debut. "Hey! You gonna help with the finale or not?"

"What did you have in mind?" he asked, smirking and biting his bottom lip.

"Come here and then I'll tell you the plan," she said as she fastened the last of her bodice. When he came close enough she tugged at the collar of this leather jacket and brought her mouth to his neck.

"Trust me," she instructed when she felt his muscles tense and his feet try to backpedal.

Red stained lips brushed across smooth blue skin. Then gently, ever so gently, Juliette Heartless kissed his neck. Softly at first- so he wouldn't freak out- those red lips opened and began sucking. It grew in intensity as the seconds ticked on and, what was once pleasurable, now caused Megamind to hiss and pull his body from her grasp.

"Ow!" His hand covered his neck. "What was that? I mean, at first it was really...wow, that was really good, but then it just hurt." He watched her swipe a tube of lipstick across her mouth, press and pucker a few times, then stick out her tongue at her reflection.

"Let me see it," she said moving his hand out of the way. There was a deep eggplant tinted bruise taking up a large portion of his neck. _Perfect_. "That, my blue lollipop, is called a hickey."

"Heekey?"

"Yeah, so this what you're gonna do. I want you to wait in here for three minutes after I go back on stage and start singing, then go to the table with your friend. Sit for _exactly_ one minute. Look like you're real bored. And then get up and walk out the front door. Got it?"

"Um, that doesn't really sound like a very grand finale. And what is the purpose of this heekey then?" _The ways of women are very confusing. Maybe I should postpone Operation: Atomic Cherry for a while longer._

"Don't worry about it, I know what I'm doing." She ruffled a hand through her hair. A band member called through the door. They needed to be on stage ten minutes ago! She opened the door, but paused before stepping through. "Hey, maybe next time I'm in town, we can go all the way?"

Megamind's brows shot up. "You- with, with me- another time?" But she was already out the door, laughing while he sputtered. Maybe there was hope for him after all.

Exactly three minutes and two seconds after Crystal took the stage, Megamind made his way back to the main bar. He fiddled with the popped collar of his jacket self-consciously. _I hope that this purple abomination doesn't show. I'll never live down getting punched in the neck by a girl._ A few gawking patrons nudged each other as he passed by, pointing to the dark splotch and raised their beers to him. He snarled and put on his best prison face. _Let them mock me tonight, soon they'll be begging for my pardon._

A smiling Minion sat at the little corner table, holding his Shirley Temple in one hand and waving at his friend with the other. As soon as the sour young alien sat down, he swiped the sugary drink from his robotic hand and gulped down half of it. The glass almost cracked when he slapped it back down onto the tabletop.

"Sooooo," Minion leaned in giggling, "how did it go?"

Megamind crossed his legs and arms. He looked around the room, then inspected his nails as if they were part of the most interesting fingers he had ever seen. He popped his collar. It was when he turned his head to pretend to listen to Crystal's singing that he heard Minion's loud gasp.

"Sir, what-what is _that_?!" the little fish scowled and stood up so fast that his chair fell over. "She attacked you?!"

"No!" Megamind raised his hands trying to calm his aquatic companion down. People were starting to stare. "It's called a heekey."

"A hickey? She gave you a hickey?" But before he could even ask how or what exactly a hickey was, the teen was on his feet, walking towards the front of the building.

"Let's go, Minion. This place bores me," he said a little too loudly.

"Hey, Megamind!" a voice boomed from the speakers. The two boys spun around to face the stage. Crystal held out a pair of black panties towards him. "You forgot to do the honors!"

Every patron whooped and howled. One of the brutes from the front door pushed him up to the front of the stage, smiling and patting him too roughly on the back. He stepped up next to the wild girl helping him make a name for himself, and with the bright spots lights on him, the mark on his pale blue neck stood out for all the crowd to see. She handed him the panties with a cheeky wink.

"So, what'll it be boys? He hit it, so should he keep the trophy or pass it along for good luck?"

Men pushed and shoved their way closer to the stage shouting, "Toss it! Toss it!" If that blue, big headed alien could get laid by some hottie like that on stage, then maybe he had special powers. Maybe those panties really would be lucky. A brawl would break out if he didn't do something soon.

Megamind looked at the men bustling and shouting down below him and then stared at the silky fabric in his hands. One time. One time was all it would take for them to believe whatever he wanted them to believe, so long as he made it big and loud enough. And this girl put her bad reputation on the line for him. He wasn't about to let her down.

He raised a finger and turned his back to the group spiraling out of control in front of him. Long fingers reached into his belt, pulling out a blue cube. Grabbing a shot glass full of something off of the amplifier, he poured one solitary drop. A smirk twisted at his mouth when he pulled out one small instrument from his Duffel Bag of Infamy. _If they want it, I'll give it to them._

His smirk turned wicked as he spun to face the raging crowd, throwing the black lingerie high into the air. Every hand strained to reach for the falling material, but right before it grazed the tallest of the lot's finger tips, Megamind did the unthinkable. A blazing pillar of fire shot out of the tiny pen-like object in his hand, completely disintegrating the feminine undergarment.

Every person froze in place, flabbergasted at what had just happened. All eyes swept from the ash falling from ceiling to the blue alien on stage, mouths gaping. _Show time!_

Megamind swooped an arm around his dark lady, tugging her waist, pressing her close to his body. And, with as much gusto as he could muster, he kissed her senseless.

Hearing the crowd come to their senses he pulled away from the dazed face of the girl who had shown him more kindness in one night than he had in his entire life. He gave a little bow to her and smiled like a true deviant. Hooking the duffel bag onto his shoulder, he bolted off the stage, stepping on the heads of some of the patrons while he made his get away.

"Next time you're in town, don't forget!" he called out while he dashed out of the room, Minion right on his heels.

Lacquered nails brushed against still tingling lips. A true smile blossomed. "I won't," she whispered.


End file.
